when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
