i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
