HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
