I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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