its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
