We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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