they need to just BURY HIM!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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