your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
