Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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