I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
