and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
