what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
