Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
