my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
should my penis look like a turkey
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
