I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you traded sex for a burrito?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
