Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
As shirtless as possible
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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