Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
