i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
