The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
