either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
