could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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