I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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