she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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