You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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