i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You can't just leave with hair like that
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
