Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dignity is for republicans.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
