i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
