who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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