I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
