Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
