I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
