How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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