yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
