I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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