Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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