Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
operation have a gay friend backfired
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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