Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Your dad touched me again.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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