haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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