I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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