Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
