Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
In America we eat man semen.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Slut skills are useful in every country.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
