But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
