i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
