if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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