i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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