I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
