Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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