Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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