Yo dont text me then not text me
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
