I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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