I just saw a hot homeless man
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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