I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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