I hate your face
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
