belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
