he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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