I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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