i was rollin on her like bob the builder
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
