i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize