He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
