Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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