when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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