i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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