The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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