"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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