I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
