You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
