Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
