So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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