Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize